


Ripped Estates & Lonely Fields

by Millennium_Lotus



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Aristocrat AU, Debt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Estate Owners Au, Exhaustion, M/M, Slight fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:15:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24453529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Millennium_Lotus/pseuds/Millennium_Lotus
Summary: Kanda and Allen are the heirs of the Tiedoll & Marian estates. With the pressure of Master Cross' debt, Allen is wrung with exhaustion and when they're invited to a ball in the Lee estate, Allen leaves Kanda's side.
Relationships: Kanda Yuu/Allen Walker, Lavi/Lenalee Lee, Slight Lavi/Lenalee Lee
Kudos: 33





	Ripped Estates & Lonely Fields

Disclaimer: I do not own D.Gray Man, because Hoshino does and I love her for it.  
  


____

It is early in the morning when the first crack of sunlight strikes across the window, and over the sleeping man’s face. He wakes with a grumble and the cold sheets beside him. The man Kanda Yuu was looking for, was not in the bedroom and with a knowing exhale he was up and dressed in a dark tailcoat and a fitting, high collared dress shirt.

As he strode out of the bedroom, he was met with a sight that he often saw.

Allen Walker, ruffled through pages of documents, they were only debts, that he, the heir to the Marian estate had to diminish. He paced from one side of the room to the other, dressed as Kanda was, yet it was ruffled and creased. He was pulled taut with exhaustion.

Allen dragged a hand over his face and he suddenly remembered he had to get the receipts from his office. He turned around and met his partner, who was scowling at him.

“Idiot, you didn’t sleep.” Kanda looked at the white-haired man opposite him, who smiled softly and tiredly rest his head on Kanda’s shoulder.

“It’s fine.”

“You should have woken me.”

Allen shook his head and his silver eyes were distraught. “No, you have your own estate to run. I’ll run mine.” With that, Allen just breathed Kanda in and almost collapsed then and there. Kanda held the other by his shoulders and felt Allen’s weight resting down upon him, stiff and weak, but then it was gone.

“I need to get the receipts.” Allen mumbles and heads off to his office, in their own household. It was their sanctuary, where the expectations of inheriting the Tiedoll and Marian estates, did not reach them. Yet now, with a protective stance, Kanda Yuu felt as though their sanctuary would not have its peace for a while. As if it was invaded and pierced.

Kanda Yuu could do nothing about it. “Tch.”

***

It was at breakfast that morning, that both Kanda and Allen received the invitation.

A butler walked in with a plain envelope on a serving plate.

“Mr Walker, Mr Kanda. The Lee estate has sent you an invitation.” He carefully placed the invitation between the two heirs.

Allen dragged his eyes off the receipts in his one hand, with a jam lathered slice of toast in the other, and smiled, closed eyed to the butler. “Thank you Toma.” The butler bowed and left, and as soon as Toma did, Allen’s smile fell, and he went back to reading the receipts. 

When it was silent for too long, did Allen lift his head up. “Kanda?”

The man opposite him on the table, had a darkening expression, his glare sharp. “Moyashi, put the damn papers down.”

Allen sighed, “Not now Bakanda. What did the invitation say?”

“You haven’t eaten anything, you idiot.” Kanda persisted.

He felt as though he was losing Allen, as if the man were running from everything. It frustrated him why he couldn’t do anything except try to call him back, to remember that he’s Allen, not only Cross Marian’s heir.

When the white-haired man wasn’t responding, Kanda huffed, “ _Moyashi_.”

“You know my name is Allen, Kanda.” And the white-haired man stuffed his jam toast fully in his mouth. “Are you happy now?”

Kanda didn’t nod or give any sign of confirmation, but in his sigh and resting shoulders, Allen knew it was an approval. Some would wonder how much they could speak within a single action.

Both missed the mornings and nights where they would be beside each other, and not facing from a table’s length away. There was a fury within both heirs of how the situation had become.

Allen Walker thought vexedly about his master and his habit to excess on everything expensive. Leaving him with unending debt and an estate to run after he was gone. Allen then looked back at the papers in his hand and left them on the table. He rubbed at his eyes and sighed.

Meanwhile, Kanda looked distastefully at his food.

 _You don’t deserve me_ , both heirs alleged to themselves.

There was longing for something and Allen knew what.  
Kanda was the push that got him on edge, may it be in a fight or when it was just them moving deep into each other in the nights that were so ever cold.  
Allen’s love for the man seemed to mingle with hatred yet inside it could never. Kanda was the only one to drag him by the collar out of this drowning ache. No matter how pessimistic Kanda believed himself to be.

“Kanda, I’ll do better.” Allen began.

“You don’t have to do better, idiot. You’re doing fine, but you’re such a brat, that you can’t see it.” Kanda didn’t meet Allen’s eyes and his jaw clenched, but it was not with anger. “Just stop moving on alone.” Then Kanda’s gaze met Allen’s and it wasn’t dark steel against silver but a caress, that longed to reach out to the other’s tired and pale features.

Allen didn’t need to respond. His words travelled with a glance.

The Marian heir walked over to the Tiedoll heir and nestled in the warmth of his neck and shoulder, a place Allen wished he could stay in forever, with his arms around Kanda’s chest and their bed covers over them.

Kanda’s fingers slowly pulled against Allen’s tie and brought him down, so their lips met and when they went apart, both their faces had a sense of ease and unwillingness to continue the day. Kanda looked seriously down at Allen’s white tie and held it lightly.

“Are you planning to rip this one too?” Allen laughed while his partner scowled.

“No, you idiot.”

***

A few years back, the two had met when participating in the sport, Polo, with the other neighbouring estate owners and their heirs. Cross Marian and Allen Walker only got along when competing and were in the lead, to the dismay of Froi Tiedoll and his adopted son Kanda, Komui Lee and his daughter and heir Lenalee, and Bookman and his successor Lavi.

Kanda Yuu had finally reached his 20’s and was furious that a boy younger than him was winning. His black coated horse strode over the grass, right beside Allen Walker’s. His horse was white and the crimson saddle he comfortably sat on, as if this sport were _easy_ and he was _mocking_ Kanda, corresponded to his red scar along one grey eye and his red arm which Kanda couldn’t care less about.

Because what mattered was that he couldn’t let a moyashi take him down.

Their mallets hit the ball as it skimmed across the green plains and Allen, amused, smirked gleefully at seeing Kanda’s annoyance.

“I heard the widely known Kanda Yuu, was a prodigy in Polo. Guess they hadn’t heard of me.”

Kanda had scowled and instead of going for the ball, he pulled at the reigns with one hand tugging his horse to gallop towards Allen.

The boy’s eyes had gone wide but then he quickly kicked at his own horse and it had become a chase. The wind blew clean-cut against their skin, their eyes watering with the fresh breeze. Allen laughed and his horse’s charges sped up further from the fuming man behind him. 

“I’ll knock you out with my mullet, you idiot!” Kanda spat, catching up. The two horses ran side by side, the sport left behind them.

“You wouldn’t be able to, Bakanda! You might pull your mullet back too far, and get your hair caught.”

Kanda flared. How did the kid know how to twist Japanese with his name, he didn’t know, and Allen seemed to notice.

“Don’t look so surprised, Kanda. I’ve learned much from my travels with my master Cross.”

“You-,” Kanda leapt from his horse and landed hardly on the grass, his boots deep in the dirt. Allen stopped smiling and when he looked around him, he found that the game of Polo, a little ride away, had continued without them, Cross cackling, as Komui worried over Lenalee’s safety who happily trotted with Lavi. Both of them were nice, but how did Allen end up with Kanda Yuu?

“Oi, moyashi.” The said man gestured to Allen’s horse with his mullet.

Allen refused to get off, stating, “My name is Allen.”

Kanda gripped Allen’s tie and to both their surprise, the boy toppled onto Kanda. There was a rip and in Kanda’s hand was Allen’s torn tie.

With disgust Kanda left the tie in the dirt, finding the boy’s defeated look.

“Master Cross is going to kill me.” Allen lost his gutsy composure and ran a hand through his white hair. Both stood up, gritty and slovenly with mud and grass. As soon as Kanda did, his two feet hit Allen’s leg which swiftly cut across his ankles, knocking the older male to the mud again. Allen grinned and Kanda’s eye twitched, his hand reaching out to his mullet.

Yet, in another quick motion, Allen grabbed Kanda’s mullet, got up on his horse again, his white hair whipping behind him, and kicked at his horse to sprint away. “If you want to knock me out Kanda, you need your mullet for it!”

Fixated and angry, the other got up on his own horse and raced after Allen, once again.

Meanwhile, Lavi had a wide grin and beside him, on a grey and brown patched horse, was Lenalee. She had sneezed and groaned.

“I would enjoy the two getting along, better than any of us, if I didn’t have a cold.” But her expression was sweet, nevertheless. Lavi turned to her and gave her an orange scarf, leaving his neck bare.

“Here. You don’t want that cold to get worse.” He winked playfully and Lenalee became rosy cheeked and thrilled. Maybe Kanda and Allen weren’t the only ones who would get along, in the years ahead.

***

In the present, the Lee estate’s invitation, was read and scrunched frustratedly in Kanda’s hand. “It’s another ball, at nine tonight to whenever the hell it ends.”

Allen shrugged, “That’s fine. What’s the celebration?”

“It’s Komui Lee’s birthday. That lunatic, and his inventions.”

Allen grinned, “Well, Lenalee must have sent the invitations and we are definitely not missing this party.”

“Tch. I know.” Kanda looked over Allen’s features. He’d been doing that too often lately, yet Allen was falling into himself as he stood in their bedroom. His hair was long and uncut, tied like his own, but the complexion in the mirror was sleepless and draining. “You won’t last a whole night.”

“I’ll be fine, Kanda. Now, get dressed too. The ball begins soon.” Allen went up to Kanda, who leant against the bed stand, and kissed him deep and along his jaw. Kanda’s chest ceased and his hand refused to move from Allen’s hip.

The Marian heir pulled away. “I’m going to go tell Toma to get ready the carriage.” And once again, Allen was gone from Kanda’s hold.

***

The guests are announced by a skinny butler by the main entrance. Lenalee, with her hand clasped in Lavi’s, jumps in excitement whenever she hears a new guest arriving, especially when the butler calls out, “Allen Walker, heir to the Marian estate! Kanda Yuu, heir to the Tiedoll estate!”

Lenalee, with Lavi in tow, raced to the door and bounded onto Allen, her arms around his neck. He almost toppled over but was glad to see her grin.

“Allen!”

“Nice to see you, Lenalee.” Allen’s sight spun just as he felt Kanda’s hand rest at his back.

When Lenalee took a step away she let out a breath, while Lavi swung his hands over Kanda and Allen’s shoulders, placing himself in the middle. “Yuu! Did Allen force you to come?” The man’s red hair was fashionably wrapped with a bandana and he wore an eyepatch to the ball.

“Shut up, you damn usagi, unless you want to be trampled on.”

Lavi shook his head and when he saw Kanda not pay any more attention to him, he looked to his right to find Allen, his eyelids dropped with his shoulders sunken. “Eh? Allen? What are you doing?”

Kanda went out of Lavi’s grip and went to Allen’s side. “He’s fucking tired you idiot.”

Lenalee worriedly looked over her friend. “Why is-,”

With a loud wail behind them, the conversation was cut off and the resting man stuttered awake. “Eh?”

“Tch. Go back to sleep, moyashi.”

Allen’s head pounded and he almost doubled over in exhaustion as it caught up to him. The floor alternated out of focus, yet he was steady because his partner’s hold around his torso was, and he didn’t let him fall. 

Further into the Lee household, Lenalee and Lavi, found the source of the cry.

In a room filled with guests, the orchestra played and the chandelier at the roof hung, glimmering light over the cream walls and sprung floor. At the side, many tables were topped with sweet delicacies and pastries that oozed sugar. Drinks were wandered around on silver plates, by the butlers with their perked heads and noses. It was lively as the guests chattered and in the centre of attention was Komui Lee who talked animatedly with Reever Wenhamm, his close colleague and friend.

The yowl from before had come from them.

“How could you Reever?! A stack of paperwork for my birthday?” Komui exasperated. In his hands, wrapped with pink ribbon, was pages worth of work. Reever didn’t look apologetic and just poured himself more coffee.

“The committee needs you to sign the papers.”

Komui adjusted his glasses, “But on my birthday?”

“No, but tomorrow. And you can’t return my gift.” Reever calmly sipped from his cup.

Lenalee shook her head in disbelief and turned to Lavi who gave her a slice of cake. The Bookman heir then realised the loss of presence of his friends and turned to look behind him.  
The two were at the sugar plated tables. Kanda, of course, with a scowl of disgust. Their actions would seem aggressive to those who didn’t know them. With Allen pulling and shoving his partner around the tables and Kanda’s eye twitching in annoyance. Even Lavi thought they weren’t getting along so well at the start, yet now, he saw their gestures as fond and almost as if they were in a perfect balance.

***

The ball went on with dance and more celebration, yet all the heirs of the four major estates had gotten overwhelmed with all the guests and found themselves wandering around the household, searching for a spare room distant from the noise.

So far, they had met with Bookman and Froi Tiedoll. Lavi receiving a new set of war novels for his historic studies, as Kanda got an emotional and stiff hug.

Cross Marian, out of the four main estate owners, was nowhere to be seen, which had comforted Allen. He did not wish to see his master yet or have the energy to. Yet, the butler who hurriedly came up to him and tapped his shoulder, did not know that. 

“Walker, sir?” His beady eyes looked frantic.

Allen was leant against Kanda and he sluggishly pulled away and turned to face the butler. “What is it?”

“You are called upon outside, sir.”

Allen was blank featured, yet his gut twisted in certainty of who it was. “Okay.” He turned to Kanda and gestured to the exit. “I’ll be back soon.” His kiss felt unsure and hesitant, as if maybe what he said would end up false, and as Allen Walker headed away, Kanda Yuu didn’t cease to feel the clench in his chest.

***

It was cold and crisp outside. The wind blew and Allen had his coat on and yet he still shivered. The day had become night, the light had died long ago. Lamp posts flickered on and it lit empty streets. A fountain splashed and gobbled water in front of the Lee household and trees lined their way on the driveway and roundabout.

Puffs of smoke came from Cross Marian’s cigar. The sickly, burnt stench lingered in the air and was then lost in the wind. Allen’s master was a darkly dressed man, with red long hair and a white mask covering half his face. In that, both master and heir had common trait, which was of their repressed, true nature. h

Cross spoke suddenly, “Allen, you most likely think that I was a horrible and careless master and guardian.”

Allen gave an agreeing look, yet hesitated to say anything except, “Master, are you drunk?”

Cross’ face darkened. “I will be later, you brat. But not now. Allen, I know I haven’t given you a heads up or warning. You wouldn’t even have the chance of knowing anything about what I am going to tell you.” The man blew another ring of smoke and with furrowed brows he looked down at Allen Walker, yet not in the way one would look at a nuisance but how one with a son. The two were not related by blood, hence how their names wouldn’t be connected by a new eye. Cross Marian had taken the boy in and his sudden show of determination for Allen, not against him, hit Allen strangely yet not wrongly.

“I am stepping down as the owner of the Marian estate, for you to inherit it by your name, Walker.” Cross resumed curtly. “You’ll do well, Allen. I didn’t raise you to be weak.” With a final puff of smoke, he was gone and entered the Lee household as if he never left.

Allen held his hair with a fist and took a breath against the tree.

 _Why now? Is there something he is not telling me?_ Allen pondered. His body was tense and strained, his heart pounding and blood racing to his head and hands, which shook. The icy air hissed against him and he began to walk away from the Lee household. _Damn master. How could you ever know if I will do well? When have you ever paid so much attention to what I have done?_

Allen Walker aimlessly sauntered. The night delved into its late hours and the streets deserted themselves setting a lonely and empty path open to him. The seclusion hadn’t seemed to be gone forever. Yet, how could Allen think that way? He was not the only heir, not the only one to battle these doubts and pressures. 

He took in a breath. It did not reach his lungs and he suddenly realised how wrung out he was. How familiar and comforting it would be to go back to the night when he was younger and screaming at Kanda, ruthlessly. When he hadn’t realised that what he was screaming, was something that was completely irrelevant to anger or hatred. How at first, he couldn’t register that it was Kanda Yuu who reached out to kiss him. Not kill him or shout at him. But hold him with fury and desire and longing and everything in between. And above them, the sky was storm crazed and pouring.

Heavy, like how Allen’s shoulders felt now, stampeded by Cross’ words. His arms were stiff in his coat, wanting to be tugged into Kanda’s stronger embrace. Into his warmth and weight. Into when it was just them and their traitorous ways and mockery.

It was then that Allen had found himself at the field.

***

Back at the Lee estate, the ball had slowly quietened down, especially after Cross Marian’s unexpected entrance and the alcohol being slowly sipped till it’s emptiness.

Partygoers left and soon Komui was only left with Reever, who had just stayed to remind him to complete the paperwork. Then there were no more guests except for Kanda Yuu, who sat against a wall, his elbow against his knee, his attention intent on the entrance of the Lee household.

Allen Walker had not returned nor was he outside to Kanda’s frustration, when he had searched a while back. Froi Tiedoll seemed to have noticed his hidden distress and rage, and had come to pat him on the back, with a knowing glint in his eye.

Kanda continued to stare at the entrance. “The damn moyashi gets lost easily.”

Tiedoll spoke through his yawn. “Yet, you know the path Allen walks on is lonely and you know that he becomes consumed by that thought. It’s easy to get lost then.”

Kanda scuffed his shoes against the carpet. “I know.” He then got up, his body lean and tall, but there was hastiness in the action.  
Tiedoll then felt his emotions swell and his smile glisten on his wrinkled face, as he proudly thought, about his heir and adopted son, about how grateful he was towards Allen Walker.

And Kanda left without a word.

***

Galloping on the field, a white horse snorted and chuffed, with their breath foggy and opaque from the cold. Saddled on the horse, a man whipped the reigns as their hair became loose and wild, an ashen grey in the moonlight with their coat flapping in the wind behind them like a cape.

***

As he walked, passers-by whistled and catcalled.

Red lights flickered through the darkly tinted windows. Kanda ignored where he was and was committed to trying to find his idiot.

He turned a sharp right and headed down a steep staircase, which led to a metal door. A woman with a club and tight, black straps around her hips and chest, studied Kanda and bit her lips, savagely.

“I’ve seen you around here before. Where’s your red-scarred buddy?”

Kanda’s hand twitched. “Did he come here?”

“…” The woman’s eyeliner crinkled with her grin. “Who knows?”

“Answer me.” Kanda refused to plea and the woman seemed to notice that.

“You’re serious? You want to know where he is?” She was answered by a piercing glower, but she shrugged and swung her club from her hip to the tall man’s chin. “No. He didn’t come by here.” She smiled spitefully. “Maybe he’s dead.”

Kanda Yuu turned away as if he heard nothing.

***

The man got off his horse and landed in the middle of the plains, with grass that looked like an ocean in the dark. He took a breath and enveloped himself in the emptiness of the night.

How nice it would be to have that person beside him. Their long hair against their back and their scowling features, which he knows become tender and open when he looks away. Their partner’s lips always whisper and bicker but at times don’t elicit a sound, letting the silence fill in whatever must be said.

The horse beside the man exhaled gruffly as it’s hoofs dug into the dirt. The very dirt that a tie had been ripped.

***

“What do you fucking mean, he hasn’t come down here at all?” Kanda spat.

The restaurant manager shook his head, clenching his night gown. “As I said, Allen Walker hasn’t entered any of the restaurants since yesterday. I would know, as we haven’t had a food shortage at all today. Sorry, sir.”

Yet another door, out of several, slammed into Kanda’s face.

Dawn was long out of reach and so was the idiot, who he would rarely admit he wished to protect to hell’s grave and back.

 _Stupid moyashi. You’re probably lost or passed out from exhaustion somewhere._ Kanda was vexed with everything in sight and no one, not even the crates against walls which he kicked to splinters, tamed his temper and uncertainty. _I’ll rip all his ties when I find him._ Kanda frowned and hesitated in thought.

There’d be no logic in where he was heading, yet strangely it did not seem ridiculous to continue further. 

In a few minutes, past twisting streets, he found himself at the field. And a particular white horse missing from the stables.

***

Allen Walker buckled back onto his saddle, as he rode picking speed over hills where the clouds had cloaked the sky and the moon became a halo.  
If there were any onlookers they’d gape in fear, if they caught a glimpse of silver eyes being driven by a bounding white beast.

Here, Allen had begun to feel cold and empty. He wondered why he had become unsure of turning back. Would he return with faces who smiled as if he hadn’t been gone at all? For how long had he been out in this chill?  
For how long had he been this alone?

***

A bolting, dark horse chased towards the white. It could have been the moon’s trick, yet Kanda was definite it was not.

He had become a shadow in the evening, clenching the reigns, fearlessly sat on his saddle.

Kanda caught sight of Allen and grey eyes met his and did not look away.

***  
The taller man landed in the thick dirt and mud, while the other stayed on his horse.

“You damn beansprout. Do you know how fucking long it took to find you?” Kanda reached for Allen’s tie and tugged him down.

They fell to the ground with a thump, and it hurt more than provoke either of them.

“Say something, you idiot.” Kanda insisted.

Allen sat up a little straighter over the other, and his fingers became paler around Kanda’s collar.

“Master Cross is stepping down. I’m now the owner of the Walker estate.”

No crickets chirped and no wind blew. It was still and taut in the silence between them.

Kanda gritted his teeth, more in restraining himself from holding the other man in his arms. His fury and torment of not being able to keep the moyashi in one spot for at least a night, coiled deep within him.

Allen hadn’t responded for a long time.

“Moyashi.”

“…” Allen let go of Kanda’s collar and for a moment it seemed like this was the end.

But in a moment, Kanda pulled their lips against each other. Hard, angry and lost. Then always found, with their grips in their hair and imprints against skin.

“It’s cold.” Allen murmured and fell onto Kanda’s chest.

“You idiot, you can’t run an estate with a cold.”

“You searched for me.” Allen sagged in relief. “What would have happened if you hadn’t?”

Kanda huffed. “Tch.” Then he whispered, “I’d lose my mind, moyashi.”

He expected a snarky comment like, ‘ _If you had a mind in the first place,_ ’ from the man laid over him. Yet Allen was already asleep leaving them on the field. A sigh elicited from them both as the long-awaited bliss of each other’s presence and sleep came over them.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer again: All characters are owned by Hoshino Katsura! 
> 
> Thank you for reading ❤❤❤  
> xoxo Millennium_Lotus


End file.
